They'd Never
by Music-Is-Life-88
Summary: They'd Never know her like he did. Five memories that came to his mind at the funeral. Collins/Angel
1. Chapter 1

He watched them all, one by one, go up to speak. On the inside he was shaking his head, the way they spoke of his angel… he knew they meant well. He knew that they were hurting too, but nothing like him. They'd never know Angel like he did, nor would they share any of the most amazing memories they had.

They'd never know about how Angel would teach him dirty Spanish words on a Sunday morning.

They'd never understand that her smile and happy exterior was just a cover, a shield to protect her from the world that had hurt her so.

They'd never hear the beats of her drum as a powerful force of emotion and sound.

They'd never watch Angel be selfless to people who could deserve less

They'd never remember the first time they'd said 'I Love You'


	2. Chapter 2

_Know_

_The sun beamed through the open windows and the breeze gently rose the thin curtains up in the living room. The kitchen –not two steps away from the couch- was busy, pans and bowls in the sink and more being used. Collins had just tried his hand at cooking and it didn't work out the first time, or second, or fifth. Waking up to the smell of smoke, Angel burst out of their bedroom frantically with a vase of roses Collins gave her over her head. When she saw a guilty Tom throwing another burnt batch of bacon and eggs, she giggled and went to help him. He normally would have protested, he had wanted to make a special surprise Sunday Brunch for them, but in fear of burning Angel's apartment, he agreed. Angel taught him step by step how to make the pancake batter, break the eggs, and properly store the bacon away in the fridge, hitting the top of his hands lightly with a wooden spoon if he did it wrong, scolding him in Spanish. Collins grabbed the handle of the pan when the eggs were done, but cursed and almost dropped them on the floor._

"_That's hot!" he exclaimed, holding his hand. Angel came over and kissed his open palm. She then looked into her lover's eyes and smirked. She leaned in and whispered incomprehensible Spanish in his ear. "What does that mean? Cause it sounded dirty…"_

_Angel, after turning off the stove and making sure there was no cause for fire, grabbed Collins' hands and lead him into the bedroom. "Why don't I show you?"_


	3. Chapter 3

_Understand_

_Collins was off early that day from his teaching gig at NYU. He was excited to be in his lover's arms for just an extra hour, but when he opened the door to their apartment, he saw Angel, wig off, in just sweat pants and sweat shirt, crying. His emotions went haywire; he was concerned, upset, but mostly confused. This was the person that had said 'No Day But Today', the one that walked around happier than __normal__ people, let alone one with AIDS, the one that put others before herself; and yet she was a sobbing mess right in front of him. "Ang. What's wrong?" He walked slowly towards her and sat at her feet. Angel uncurled from her ball and look at him. Her eyes were a burning red and her face was wet with tears. She just crawled over and buried her face in Collins' chest, breaking down again._

"_Sometimes Tom, sometimes it's just so hard." She sobbed again, just mumbling in Spanish. Collins just sat there, rocking back and forth, letting her, rubbing her back and whispering soothing words. He'd never know why she had broke down, or if she ever had again, or how many times she had before. She just assured him as long as he was with her she'd be alright._


	4. Chapter 4

_Hear_

_Before Collins could light a joint, Angel took it and threw it out the window. He looked at her shocked, but she put a finger to his lips, giggling. "Sorry baby, but I want you __**here**__ to hear this, not up high." He just sighed and sat at the couch, ready to hear Angel play lovely music again. She was probably the only person in the world who could get away with doing that, __**and**__ then expect him to stay instead of run out to the streets and recover his joint. Angel brought over his pickle tub and an empty jug from a water cooler she took from the garbage. "I was working on something with these two, and I just want your opinion, ok? Don't hold back now." She teased, before beginning._

_Then it hit him, every note, and every beat like a percussive punch in the gut. Getting where the nerves were, the feeling. Then the jug joined in, a lighter sound mixing with the tub, like raindrops just falling one at a time onto his head. Together the sound was like his was in a tornado, his mind was getting jumbled up every times something happened, the beats were louder or softer, faster or slower, it was controlling him. He was experiencing music unlike what he experienced when he was high._


	5. Chapter 5

_Watch_

_Collins and Angel walked hand in hand down the streets of New York, passing people, most giving looks of disproval but they couldn't care less. It was like any other day until they walked past a family, obviously tourists. All rather large were a grandmother and her walker, a Momma bear, Papa bear, and little boy bear, at least that's what they looked like. The boy raised a pudgy arm and pointed it at the couple. "Pop hey pop, is that them dumb faggots youse was talking about?"_

_Collins' hand clenched, but Angel rubbed his back and led them away, talking about how they weren't worth it, or that they were jealous of their love. Collins would feel guilty, but he couldn't remember exactly what she said, he was too angry._

_That happened almost every day though, what made that day most perplexing is not even an hour later they saw that same family and the little boy had just got an ice cream cone. He happily licked the chocolate while the father discontentedly handed money over to the vender. On one particularly harsh lick, the ice cream fell onto the ground with a splat. The boy went into a fit and demanded from his father another ice cream, but the father shook his head. Angel let go of Collins and went over to the ice cream cart._

_Collins stayed where he was and watched Angel order a chocolate ice cream cone, pay the vendor, then give it to the boy. Immediately after, she walked back to Collins, but not before patting the boys head and waving at the family with her fingers._


	6. Chapter 6

_Remember_

_On this one hill, at just the right time, the sun rise against the city skyline was incredible. No cars were honking, motorcycles raging. It was just a few rogue crickets up later than all the others and early birds getting their worms, sometimes singing songs. That night, the breeze was light and warm, the snow on the ground was new and pure, the trees seemed to be coated with just the right amount of snow and ice in the most picture perfect way, Mark would have loved it. Collins brought Angel there a week after they met. He had come to this spot many times before, to smoke and to think, but he never showed anyone this spot, never told anyone. Angel awed at the romantic gesture and kissed his stubbly cheek._

"_I love you."_


End file.
